What to Do When Chronic Pain Is Unbearable
Chronic pain can feel like a never-ending battle if you don’t have as road map out of it, because without a map you can’t determine as direction, and direction is the first step in solving any problem. Some days, it might be a dull ache in the background of your life, and on others, it’s so intense it consumes every thought, leaving you wondering how you’ll make it through the day. If you’ve found yourself in this position, know that you’re not alone. But there’s a way out of this cycle, and you can even turn off your pain once and for all by understanding how chronic pain works and how it can be successfully mitigated. As always, my blogs are inspired by the groundbreaking work of Dr. John Sarno and today I keep Dr. David Schechter I mind, as a man who developed upon the work of Dr. Sarno. So without further ado, let’s dig in and aim to switch off those pain signals permanently.
Understanding Your Pain and Why It Exists.
Before getting into the nuts and bolts of how to cope when pain feels unbearable, it’s essential to understand the root cause of chronic pain a little better. There are two camps but regardless of what you feel is right for you the solutions are the same.
First, is the concept of Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) that Dr. John Sarno popularised. TMS isn't a physical injury but a condition where emotional and psychological stress leads to physical pain. Your body is trying to get your attention by saying, "Hey, something’s not quite right!" The idea is that the pain is actually a distraction from uncomfortable emotions or stressors you might be facing in your life.
Second, Dr. David Schechter builds on this idea, emphasizing that pain can become a habit. Your brain, stuck in a loop of pain signals, keeps sending them even when there’s no real physical damage to your tissues. But here's the good news: Just like any habit, it can be unlearned and new prior pain pathways can be reestablished.
Step 1: Acknowledge That Chronic Pain has an emotional Origen
The first step toward healing is recognizing that your pain might not be caused by physical damage but by psychological factors. Ask yourself:
Does my pain seem to change locations or intensity without any apparent physical reason?
Do I notice my pain worsens when I'm stressed, anxious, or frustrated?
Have I been through all the medical tests and treatments only to find no clear diagnosis?
If you answered “yes” to these, then your pain might have more to do with your mind and emotions than you think. This is a breakthrough moment—knowing that if your brain can turn the pain on, it can also turn it off. It might feel unbearable now but it does not always have to. Remember, sensory changes can happen quickly, and with practice, in a matter of seconds and minutes. Just think how quickly we can blush when embarrassed but then resume normal skin complexion quickly afterwards. Blushing is a mind-body process and at a brain level, not so different from pain. The symptoms might differ but the brains neurological respose is the same. It looks as little like this: `Perceived psychological threat - brain assesses threat - brain signals an appropriate physical symptom. In the case of unbearable pain the brain is simply producing and much more intense symptom based on what it feels is appropriate. But such symptoms can be blunted and quickly, I know this from my own first-hand experience and the experience of people I have coached.
Step 2: Create Emotional and Physical Safety
One of the main elements in managing chronic pain is creating a sense of safety. When we feel emotionally safe and secure, chronic pain often diminishes or even disappears entirely - this is the primary goal. Take a moment to check in with yourself: Are you feeling overwhelmed, threatened, or unsafe in any part of your life? Are there unresolved emotions lurking in the background, like fear or anger?
To start cultivating a sense of safety, consider grounding techniques like mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or even just taking a moment to be present. Feeling safe is about giving yourself the space to be okay with where you are, both emotionally and physically. When you focus on creating a feeling of emotional security, pain neural pathways simmer down, the brain starts to relax, and conditioned responses or the need for pain as a distraction (the case with TMS pain) diminishes.
Step 3: Distract the Brain in Positive Ways
Here’s where things get interesting! Since TMS pain is largely driven by the brain’s need to distract you from uncomfortable emotions, engaging in activities that put you in a state of focus or joy can help reduce that pain significantly. The brain can only focus on one thing at a time, so why not give it something positive to focus on?
Get Creative: Involve yourself in something creative like drawing, writing, or playing a musical instrument. When you’re in the flow state, your brain switches neural networks which in turn puts an end to pain. Remember you mustsincerely like, enjoy or be in the mood for what you are doing or this will be counterproductive.
Laughter Is the Best Medicine: Watch your favourite comedy or spend time with friends who make you laugh. Joy and laughter are great for switching off those pain pathways.
Physical Activity: Gentle movements like yoga, walking, swimming, gentle skating, skateboarding, rock climbing or anything else you enjoy and feel you can do can help as long as you don’t push yourself to the point of aggravating the pain. If your nervous system is very sensitised (which is you're in a mega pain flare it most likely is) then keep it very gentle. The goal is to remind your brain that movement is safe. Start small and build up!
Mindfulness and Meditation: This doesn’t mean sitting like a monk for hours (feel free to do so if it tickles your fancy). It could be as simple as paying attention to your breath or noticing the feeling of the wind on your skin. The idea is to interrupt the pain loop by refocusing your mind. Getting out of your head is key. More recently I've become a huge fan of making my meals as mindfully as possible. I slow right down, rush no actions, and just focus on the task. Cultivating mindfulness has a seriously positive impact on our nervous systems' ability to regulate, and thus cope better with emotional challenges.
Involve Yourself in Your Life as Normal: This is essential, and for many people it is the defining moment when they changed their pain signalling. This is because you are telling your brain and pain, "Hey, I am not intimidated by you, I won't get stuck in a freeze response, or spend my days trying to get rid of you, instead, I will go about my life as normal, and feel empowered and joyful again, do as you please but I won't be discouraged by you". This mind set ends the ‘threat alarm’ allowing your nervous system and brain to rewire. Again, start small and build up as pain and overwhelm subside.
Step 4: Talk to Your Pain (Yes, Really!)
As mentioned above, talking to your pain can be incredibly effective. Remember, as well as being a conditioned, neurological response, pain is your brain’s way of distracting you from emotions or thoughts it finds threatening. Acknowledge the pain by saying something like, “I know what you’re trying to do, but I don’t need this distraction anymore. I’m okay, and I’m dealing with my emotions directly.” It’s all about retraining your brain to realise that pain is no longer necessary as a coping mechanism.
Step 5: Journaling to Uncover Hidden Emotions
Much like talking to your brain-pain journaling helps create separation between you are your thoughts (remember, your thoughts, unconscious or not, are what drive your emotions and therefor your pain), your feelings will start to feel less all-consuming and you will be able to let go of issues and feelings with greater ease. It really is a way to dig deep into the emotions that might be fueling your pain. Start writing about your fears, worries, frustrations, and anything else that comes to mind. Be honest with yourself. You might be surprised by what comes up, and more importantly, by how much lighter you feel after getting it all out on paper.
The act of journaling helps you bring many hidden emotions (subconscious) to the surface, creates seperation, and allows us to let go. This reduces their power over your mind and, consequently, over your pain. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or structure—just let it flow.
Step 6: Recognize the Role of Stress and Mind-Body Symptoms
TMS pain often appears alongside other mind-body symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, fatigue, or even anxiety. These symptoms are all part of the same psychophysiological process. If you notice your pain flaring up when you’re stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, that’s a strong clue that you’re dealing with TMS. Knowing this can help you tackle the underlying stressors directly, rather than just managing the symptoms.
Step 7: Seek Support When You Need It
You don’t have to go through this journey alone. Sometimes the pain and emotions can be overwhelming, and that’s okay. Talking to a therapist, counsellor, or even a friend who understands TMS can make all the difference. There’s no shame in seeking help, and having someone guide you through the process can speed up your healing journey.
Conclusion: Taking Back Control from Chronic Pain
Chronic pain doesn’t have to rule your life. By understanding the nature of pain you'll feel less threatened. I know this can be very hard, especially if you are in the midst of a very bad flareup, but by using mind-body/somatic techniques, you can retrain your brain and regain control over your well-being. Remember that dimming down or turning off pain pathways is not always a straight path, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your small victories (this is very important), and know that you have the power to switch off those pain pathways permanently.
Acknowledge the Mind-Body Connection: Recognise that your pain may be more about emotions than physical injury.
Create Safety: Focus on feeling emotionally and physically secure to help reduce the pain.
Distract with Positivity: Shift your brain’s focus to joyful activities, or mindful tasks. Clichéd as it might sound become present with the moment.
Talk to Your Pain: Acknowledge the pain and let your brain know it’s not needed.
Journaling: Uncover hidden emotions driving the pain.
Recognize Patterns: Chronic pain often occurs alongside other stress-related symptoms.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for guidance or a listening ear.
I believe in your ability to cope with and recover from unbearable chronic pain because I did it myself and I thought I was the one person in the world who thought they never could. It might feel unbearable now, but with the right approach, you can change the way your brain processes pain.
If you have any questions about this post, or thoughts or feelings you’d like to run past me, please feel free to reach out.
All the best for now!
Duncan